There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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