I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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