i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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