All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
