turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
