I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Randomize
