Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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