rhymes with "ouble enetration"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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