YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
