I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
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Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
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Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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