I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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