Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
