hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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