I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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