Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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