I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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