Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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