its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
