Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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