my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
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Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
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I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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