Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
