please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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