where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We have so much sex to catch up on
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
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