so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
