Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize