If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
