What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My dick has a subreddit
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
