no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
