And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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