Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
