Christians are straight up FREAKS
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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