i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Boobs are out for the taking
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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