he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
