it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
