I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Randomize
