just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize