I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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