You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
