thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
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Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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