I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
