We won't sleep together?
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
