Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Randomize
