You can't special order awesome
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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