I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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