she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
