can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
