Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
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Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
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This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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