i think my tv is drunk
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
