I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
