I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
