i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You've changed since you got that strap on
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
