i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
