I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She even gives head with a lisp.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
