Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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