I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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