I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
